The Cycle of Frustration

The Cycle of Frustration

Ever since I became a mom, there has been a cycle of frustration in my life and it looks like this:

Get inspired to work on art and photography.

Get frustrated over lack of free time and lack of skill.

Give up for awhile.

Get interested in improving my technical skills – WordPress, learning how to code.

Get frustrated over lack of progress, and my inability to focus on one thing and excel at it.

Start pondering the question of what I am really supposed to be doing.

Get depressed because I can’t seem to answer the question.

Realize I can’t afford to be depressed so search for things that make me happy.

Start working on art again.

I’ve been riding this wheel of frustration nonstop for over 5 years now! The only time I feel at peace is when I decide that somehow the cycle is what I’m meant to be doing, even though I doesn’t seem like I have anything to show for it. But each year I make a little progress in my coding skills, and I become a better artist. It helps to take stock. After many iterations on the cycle, I am now:

  • A better photographer.
  • A better digital artist.
  • I can build a wordpress theme from scratch.
  • I’m fairly proficient in HTML and CSS, and I can use frameworks like Bootstrap to get a site up and running quickly.
  • I have a basic knowledge of php and javascript. I can’t really build things from scratch, but I’m fairly comfortable with modifying stuff that’s already built.
  • I have a good working knowledge of web site maintenance, as well as analytics and SEO.

I suppose I just have to have faith that somewhere out there is a job I can do that uses all of those things.

(Note: This post started out from a draft I wrote on September 28th, 2012.)